


I'll Fix You

by superheichou



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Not whipping in the good way either, Past Abuse, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 02:06:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2133021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superheichou/pseuds/superheichou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koujaku never thought he would feel such compassion for a brat like him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Fix You

**Author's Note:**

> alrighty this was originally an ask: http://sei-seragecko.tumblr.com/post/94581705543/look-at-me-just-breathe-okay-noiz-koujack
> 
> which was then expanded upon and is now this piece of angst that gave me many feelings writing it. i hope you enjoy! my tumblr is sei-seragecko.tumblr.com if you want to talk!

He shuffled along his usual path after his day at his salon, just wanting to get home and go to sleep. The stars twinkled dimly above him, not enough to make a pretty statement, but enough to light up the dark alleys of his shortcut home. Koujaku became lost in his thoughts as usual, the darkness of the night creeping into his mind and filling his head with thoughts of his past and the burden that still holds heavy on his heart. A loud cough and wheeze pulled him out of his dream-like stupor, his eyes moving downwards to the ball of bloodied up mess on the ground. It took a moment, but the face of the beaten man was that of Noiz.

”Yo, what are you doing? Did you get into another stupid fight? How many times do I have to fucking tell you—” His sentence what cut off by sharp wheeze, the younger man’s breaths coming out heavily and sporadically.

"Sh-Shu…" He tried to mutter out what was probably a "shut up" before a coughing fit came over him, a little bit of blood trickling down his chin and on to the pavement. Something was wrong. Koujaku has seen him after fights before, he would usually bounce right back up, shoot Koujaku a glare and snide comment before leaving and carrying on with his business. But those fights were obviously child’s play compared to the thick gashes that cut through the back of Noiz’s shirt and into his flesh.

"…What the hell happened?" Koujaku snarled, his question coming out a lot harsher than intended. He bent down, about to use the sleeve of his kimono to pat at some of the deep wounds before the man in front of him started shaking. His body was trembling pathetically and tears filled his eyes, choked sobs suddenly coming from the younger man in front of him.

"Th-They knew… Hh… How did they know?!" Noiz was yelling at the ground, his tears coming down his face harder and his breathes becoming even more sporadic than before. Koujaku stared at him and slipped off his kimono, patting at one of the man cuts on his back. Were these whipping marks…?

"Noiz, who did this to you? What are you talking about?"

"They said they knew! H-How did they know that? W-Why did they whip me, they d-didn’t even want…" His words poured out almost incoherently, the taste of his tears on his tongue as his mind raced with questions. _How did he know he couldn’t feel? Why did he need to use a whip? Did he know about his childhood?_

Koujaku moved his hand under his chin, slowly raising the beaten face up to his field of vision and aligning their eyes. The sight was absolutely pitiful. Blood dripped from Noiz’s nose and down to his mouth, the tears continuously flowing so much that Koujaku couldn’t help but wipe them away.

"Shh… Look at me- Just breathe, okay? You’ll be okay. They won’t get you anymore, okay?" Koujaku spoke as if he was speaking to a child, but with Noiz in such a fragile state he couldn’t help it. It was odd seeing someone whom he usually could hardly stand in such a state, and it made his heart hurt. He wanted to help him, do _anything_ just to make his pain go away.

"Noiz, I’m going to pick you up, okay? You’re coming back to my house tonight." Koujaku waited for a sly remark, a comment of "Won’t you throw your back out if you pick me up, old man?", but it never came. Instead, Noiz uncurled from his hunched over position slightly and clung on to Koujaku’s shoulders, burying his face into the crook of his neck as nothing but silent tears and a few soft shutters were murmured the entire way there.

* * *

Koujaku kicked the door open, the trembling body in his arms latching on to him with dear life as he stepped into his surprisingly tidy apartment and flipped the light switch on using his back.

“I’m going to put you on the couch.” The grip on his kimono tightened, when Koujaku thought Noiz couldn’t get any closer to him he proved him wrong, his smaller body curling up a little more and leaning against Koujaku’s chest.

“Or not… I’m going to have to put you down sometime, brat—“

“Please… Just a few more minutes.” His words were slurred, but the ‘please’ was very audible. Koujaku was worried now, Noiz has always been some stoic asshole, picking fights all the time and then shrugging them off as no big deal. This circumstance didn’t even seem like a fight; however, it seemed more like a beating that not only hurt him physically but also mentally.

“Noiz, what happened? What were you muttering out there? You sounded crazed…” Koujaku tried to speak as calmly as possible, not wanting to upset him anymore than he already was. Noiz didn’t move or even acknowledge his question, he instead buried his face into Koujaku’s chest more and exhaled shakily.

“Well, if you won’t answer me can I at least put you down and get some supplies to clean up your cuts?” Noiz pondered, and then decided to nod silently. Koujaku led him to his bed, placing him down gently on to his stomach and went quickly in the bathroom to grab some gauze, rubbing alcohol and bandages of various sizes. The man on the bed buried his face into his arms, his senses starting to come back to him. How dare he let someone see him so weak? Especially someone like Koujaku? A sudden weight on the bed next to him made his situation become clearer to him.

“’Kay, I’m going to put some rubbing alcohol on the gashes, it will probably burn a lot, do you want something to bite on?” Koujaku spoke calmly, almost like he has done this numerous times before. His warning of pain caused Noiz to grimace, a small sound of disgust coming from the back of his throat. His lack of pain was what even got him into this mess; he didn’t need a warning like that.

“Hm? I didn’t even put anything on yet.”

“Well… thanks, old man. But I need to get going.” Noiz couldn’t stand it any longer. Knowing that this man next to him has seen him at his weakest point made him sick to his stomach, so he sat up shakily and stood up, trudging slowly towards the door.

“… No fucking way. You were literally gripping on to me like a child not even five minutes ago and now you don’t want anything to do with me?” Koujaku was furious, his voice getting louder. How could he just cling to him, make him pity him, then just turn it off like a damn light switch?

“… Yeah. See ya.” A tight grip on his wrist held him back, his damp eyes turning and squinting in annoyance at the older man.

“You’re going to die if those gashes don’t get covered. How did you even get beaten this bad? What the fuck did you say that would piss someone off so mu—“

“I didn’t say anything, stop making assumptions. Listen, I don’t need your pity. I don’t want any of your fucking pity at all. Do you think just because you helped me out that you deserve my entire goddamn life story?” That was it. Before either of them could even think straight Koujaku had him up by the collar, lifting him off the ground and slamming his body hard against the wall.

“You are such a prick. You know, maybe I should have left you there. But since I’m not an inconsiderate fuck like you I decided to help. It wasn’t my fault you turned the waterworks on. I don’t understand you. I can’t fathom how you just get up and leave without any explanation on what is wrong with you. You were rambling, you were saying things that made no sense …”

“I don’t know why you didn’t just leave either, everyone fucking leaves! They just decide that I don’t need anything; I get treated like a fucking inconvenience than an actual goddamn person. You are no better than any of them, I don’t know what you’re trying to fucking prove.” Koujaku slapped him, the harsh slap to the younger man’s face echoing throughout the room. Noiz stared dumbly at the man holding him up, which brought something to Koujaku’s attention.

“…Why didn’t you flinch?”

“What?”

“I said; why didn’t you flinch when I hit you?” Koujaku finally got it and set Noiz down on the ground, looking into the green eyes of the walking dead man in front of him. He needed help. No matter how much Koujaku would toss him around and yell it was no good. He just needed to know what happened to Noiz and what made him this way. He needed to tear the wall that was in between them down.

“I…”

“Don’t lie either. This isn’t exactly the first time I noticed, but I thought maybe you were just playing it off. You didn’t want to appear weak to the opponent.”

For the first time, Noiz was at a loss for words. It hurt him; this was one of the first times since adulthood that he was actually feeling some kind of pain. He didn’t want to tell him, he didn’t want to seem weak anymore. But with Koujaku looking at him with even the slightest hint of care in his eyes, he couldn’t help but naturally cling to someone who felt something like that about him.

“It’s because I… couldn’t feel it. I can’t feel anything.” He muttered almost silently, his eyes avoiding the red one’s softening in his direction.

“Wait, so is that what you meant by ‘how did they know?’?”

“What?”

“Before, you were mumbling ‘how did they know?’ multiple times; you said it all the way here too. But, if that’s the case, then why were you so messed up back there? If it didn’t hurt, why were you crying?” The word ‘crying’ almost made bile rise in the back of Noiz’s throat. He doesn’t like crying in front of people, he hates it. He wants to back down, just move on and act like this never happened. They could go back to hating each other, fighting for Aoba’s attention. Noiz knew that once he told this man of his past, this was the point of no return.

“It was the things they s-said, not the things they did…” Shit. A slight stutter intruded into his words, the thought of repeating the horrible things that reminded him of his past causing a light tremble to shoot through his hands. “… They told me I was worthless. That I was a defect. I didn’t deserve to be alive and that I--… I was a disgrace.” A tear rolled down his cheek and he glanced up, Koujaku looking at him with heartbreak in his eyes. Why was Koujaku doing this? Why did he even care? Everything they said was true.

“Noiz…”

“They must be friends of my parents. They used to do the same thing. Screamed ‘disgrace to the family’ at me all while whipping me till I was barely alive on the ground. My father would scream j-just…” He was breaking down. The constant stream of tears back from before and he sunk down to his knees, Koujaku looking silently down at him. “… ‘Just feel! Feel something!’ is what he would scream as he cracked the whip against my bare-back, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to- I w-want… I want to fucking feel something!” He screamed into his arms, his hands curling into fists as he got lost in the torture of his past.

A soft hand grasped on to his shoulder, his thumb rubbing into Noiz’s shoulder blade as he sobbed on the ground. There were no words exchanged as Koujaku knelt down on to his knees in front of Noiz, pulling them together and hugging Noiz with as much tenderness as possible. Koujaku knew that Noiz will probably hate him for this later, but he knew that Noiz needed this. He needed to be shown love by someone, even if it was someone like him. His scarred hands moved up and lightly pulled off the younger man’s hat, tossing it to the side and rubbing his fingers softly through his hair.

“You are important. You are here for a reason, and if no one can see that then well… they’re pretty stupid.” Koujaku whispered against Noiz’s ear then was suddenly clung against. Noiz was hugging him back, the nineteen-year olds slender arms wrapping around Koujaku’s neck and burying his face into his shoulder. Koujaku knew now. He knew why Noiz was the way he was and the wall between them was slowly crumbling down. He just needed to be loved. He needed to know he was important and get the idea that he was a disgrace out of his head. While holding Noiz tightly against him, he realized that he was the one who wanted to do that. Whether it is in a romantic way or a friendship way, he wanted to help Noiz realize how important he is.

“Wow, you must think I’m a real dumbass, don’t you?” That remark caught Koujaku by surprise, but what surprised him even more was that Noiz was still clinging against him.

“No, you just need to be fixed.” Koujaku rubbed small circles into the smaller man’s back, smiling down fondly at the blond head against him.

“I don’t know if I’m fixable, Koujaku.”

“Tch, anything is fixable when it’s given enough care and thought. If something’s not fixable… well then they’re just not trying hard enough.” A soft laugh vibrated against his shoulder, a pair of soft lips pecking against his shoulder shortly after, sending a jolt down the older man’s spine.

“Thank you…” Those two words warmed Koujaku’s heart and he pulled him away from him momentarily to stand up, picking him up off of the ground and walking him over to the bed to lay him down.

“So, can I clean you up now? I don’t want your nasty blood and stuff all over my sheets tonight.” Koujaku said that light heartedly, getting a small nod in approval from the man with his face buried into the bed and running his fingers through the soft blond locks once more before getting to work on tending to his wounds.

Who knows if things will be back to the way they were come morning, but all that matters now is that Noiz knows he is loved by someone, even if it is only for tonight.


End file.
